Making an Exhibition of Myself

A few months ago Eve (the boss at the agency) asked if I wanted to go on an all-expenses paid long weekend in London.  I immediately said yes, before wondering why Valerie was hiding behind her computer monitor – I had just volunteered to help run the stand at The France Show!  And now that my feet, back, throat and head have had time to recover I can put the pain behind me (rather like childbirth) and am able to remember what a good time we had.

We flew British Airways which for a Ryanair stalwart like me was such a treat – checked luggage allowance, allocated seats, and cabin crew who not only spoke english without an unintelligible eastern european accent but also ‘gave’ us food and drink.  We took a taxi from Heathrow rather than taking the tube as, apart from our suitcases we were also in possession of ‘The Tube’.  This is a 1.5m high cylinder with wheels at the bottom and a screw-top lid with handle which contained all our display material.  I have no idea what a Weapon of Mass Destruction looks like but I imagine it looks like this and I am amazed we weren’t stopped by customs on the way through.  We were delivered to Earl’s Court and after spending 3 hours with double-sided sellotape, staple guns, ladders and blu-tac, we were ready – to hit the sales!  (You will note that I am glossing over the part where we dragged our  cases and the now empty Tube round the corner to the hotel – it soon became apparent that we were unable to screw the lid back on tightly enough so that every 20 yards or so the tube crashed to the ground leaving Eve walking along just carrying the lid, causing much amusement to the evening commuters).

Friday morning found us ready for action – coffee in hand as we chatted to the other exhibitors then came the 9.55 announcement that the show was about to start, the accordion music kicked in and it was all a blur from then.  We had a fantastic day chatting with potential purchasers, existing clients, vendors and general francophiles who reminded me so much of me just a few years ago when I went to my first property show and  would never have believed I would now be living and working in such a fantastic area. Eve knows London much better than I do so she announced that she would take me to her favourite restaurant in So-oh (while she speaks excellent english, H’s seem to baffle her!)   It didn’t  matter that it was a 20 minute taxi ride away and we had to queue outside in the pouring rain (having been given menus to peruse as we stood under heat-lamps), it was a great meal and our downfall was that when we arrived back at the hotel we bumped into ‘Charles’, a lovely fellow exhibitor who introduced Eve to the joys of Pinot Grigio.  I was already well-acquainted with PG and sadly, while my brain knew it should say ‘Thanks I’d like a sparkling water please’ the words Yes, I’d love another’ came out of my mouth.

On Saturday morning I thought I would die but as long as I didn’t bend down or turn my head too quickly the world didn’t spin too much and several strong coffees seemed to do the trick.  And  I can only apologise to the clients who I had met just a few weeks ago for not remembering their names – I would’ve been hard pressed to recognise my own children that day!    At 5pm I assume somebody finally shot the accordion player and the show was over – and Eve announced that we were going to ‘Arrods’.  I announced that she was barking mad and that she would be going on her own as all I wanted to do was to put my feet up in the hotel for a while – which I did.  (And for any ex-pats reading this who think they still miss UK TV, they should try watching something called The Reflex – where are Ant and Dec when you need them!)  We had arranged to ‘meet ourselves’ in the hotel bar but we didn’t last for long and were in our rooms by 10pm – although obviously we told the girls in the office that we had been out clubbing ‘til all hours!

The last day was much less busy and I found time to wander around the ‘non-property’ area – wine, cheese, clothes, can can dancers and.... John-Christophe Novelli!  Eve went rushing off to see him (I thought it was because was as besotted as I am) to present him with details of a restaurant we are selling – and she got a kiss!  In order to catch our flight we had to start dismantling the stand before the official end of the show – Eve was peeling off posters as quietly as possible while I was still talking to some clients – but amazingly it took just 15 minutes to dismantle what had taken 3 hours to put together.  We then ran through the Halls with our suitcases and The Tube (having found a strong man to put the lid on properly for us) and threw ourselves into the waiting taxi and sped off to Heathrow.  Eve announced that she was was completely ‘Naked’.  Perhaps one day I’ll tell her it is pronounced knackered!

Happy Christmas!

Just a very short but seasonal blog as I am in the middle of writing my Christmas Cards (yes I realise it is a tiny bit late so for those of you who are hoping to receive a card from me before the 25^th, please consider yourselves wished a ‘Happy Christmas’!)  I blame ‘the french’ for the fact my cards are late this year, as exchanging Christmas Cards is not high on their agenda so the choice of cards  (and the price and the quality) leaves much to be desired.  Also, unsurprisingly, they are in French – which my UK friends and relatives would find confusing, if not pretentious.  So I decided to order some online.  Then I got side-tracked by the ones you can put a photo on.  Then I had to go and buy a Santa Hat and by the time I had persuaded the dog to pose nicely (the hat was for her, not me) and worked out how to upload the photo, it was 8^th December. 

Turning my attention to presents I decided to chain myself to the computer and spend the evening on the Amazon site.  I was doing exceptionally well, arranging for some items to be gift wrapped and some to have different delivery addresses and I was also taking the advice of Health and Safety gurus by taking regular breaks from the screen so as to avoid back-ache and eye-strain.  Unfortunately these breaks seemed to involve trips to the kitchen to refill my wine glass so it should have come as no surprise when I finally clicked to view my ‘shopping basket’ to find that everything was due to be delivered to my Aunt in Dorset! 

This year, now that I am working at Beautiful South, I get to experience an ‘office’ Christmas – although this one is perhaps slightly different as two of us are English and the other two are French.  Anna and I started the festivities by bringing in Christmas cards for everybody – which were received with great joy and much kissing and hugging and then a discussion about what a ‘warm and lovely English tradition this is’ and ‘what a shame it is not so popular in France’!  So no cards from them!  The Secret Santa idea went down much better – they loved the concept of choosing a name from a hat and anonymously giving a 5€ present.  This morning we all arrived clutching our gifts and dropped them into a large bag in the kitchen  Just before Anna brought the bag out to distribute the presents she double checked that ‘nobody has put who they are from’ have they’?  ‘No’ they replied ‘nor who it is to’.  Cue more explanations and a frantic dash to the kitchen with pens by Les French!  But it was a great success and I love my leopard-print scarf and would have had no idea who it was from had Eve not been wearing the exact same one as she left the office later....!

Unlike the French, who do not even appear to have a translation for ‘Boxing Day’ I will be taking a proper holiday so, see you next year and have a very Happy Christmas!